Sorrow of your absence…

Sorrow of your absence…

It was not meant to be ended this way, never. But it had and it’s not being possible for me to overcome the trauma of all these things just happened only because of me. Saying all the things instead of keeping it in the mind and waiting for the right time was not a good decision.

We both suffered this thing and even suffering now, your absence;absence of your voice that made me fall in love with you. I regret every moment, that what I had done that I just lost myself from me and I can’t now stand in front of myself and say I am a person with strong character but I am a coward and moron who can’t even stop you but hurt you too. 

I am burning in the fire of regret and sorrow of hurting you and proving your decision to be with me was wrong, instead of strenghten you I broke you, broke your heart, your believe and eventually lost myself. You and I always stated each other as a family and families are not meant to be apart or to broken, they can fight but don’t leave. I am always waiting for you here as a family please come back dear.We both have shed red tears for each other, we both have cried for each other and we still love each other till eternity and this love is not going to end this hard way.Their are various conditions which are still not in our favour but this does not mean that to go away.I am addicted to you and your presence everywhere and I can’t let the things to go away but I only stoped when you said, because I think it could hurt you or you just said to stop.

Yes, It could sound mean but the thing is I can’t ever get over you. I am a failure,I failed everywhere which was important to me, in every exam of life but the only thing I passed was having you with me but eventually I failed here too. When I was started loving my life and I can actually feel myself, it was you who made me realise I am alive and I can live life as well, but what now?

I start hating my life and myself too. One can’t love anyone else If he don’t love him/her self , but I love you with all my heart even now and till eternity and will wait for you to come.You taught me to love and extract a person with a character but it is lost since you have gone a bit away(not so far).I am full of regret and in deep sorrow that I hurt you and your sentiments,the person you loved the most, trusted the most and I should not said that those words but believe me I never lied to you and you are still in my mind running all day long even in the dreams and I really can’t get over things as you said because I too believe, you must be going through the same thing that I am going through or you are waiting for me to come up.

I am still in hope as this is not the end we deserve because we have a strong connection and a bond and believe that tie us together for a very long and happy journey. Please tell me how to apologise to you, even cut my hand but pain of your absence is far more bigger than this wound, for me it’s not ‘ittu si baat’, it’s been a month and still I can’t do anything, there is no night, day I am not burnt in the fire of sorrow and regret. I will do whatever you say  but please come back na, now I am really mentally unstable and unfit and you can heal me I really don’t want to hurt you but I really love you.